托福的口语话题里面经常会问到考生如何应对朋友之间disagreement的话题，我们先来浏览一下此类题目：
T1 Describe the best way for you to deal with disagreement with your friend?
T2 Do you agree that friends could maintain good relationships when they have disagreements?
T1 Talk about a disagreement you have had with others. What is the disagreement about and what is the consequence?
我们先撇开题目本身，其实朋友之间意见不合或者产生争执本身就是一件会发生在日常生活中的事情，基本不存在从来不吵架的朋友或者情侣，那么大家先来思考一下，你是否和朋友有过争执?和朋友之间的争论都是因何而起?你们之间互相对立的观点是否让你们对彼此有了新的认知?最后结果又是怎样呢?
我们来复习一下，口语课上老师都告诉大家一个万能理由叫做make friends，虽然很老套，但是真的超级好用，之所以老套也是因为它的万能，但是我在课堂上一定会让学生把make friends拆分成两个可用的论点：
1、基于共同话题(common topics)，通过和朋友聊天(talk)或者待在一起(stay)，能够和自己的朋友维持/增进友谊(maintain close relationship);2、进入一个新的圈子(circle)，遇见新的人群(new group)，从而扩大交际圈(expand social network)，而新朋友可以给你来的是inspiration。
这两个点可以解决很大一部分的话题，因为你做啥都能产生共同话题和老朋友发生一些联系从而维持感情，或者有机会进入新圈子结交新的群体给你生活带来灵感，那么这两个角度和朋友间的disagreement有什么关联吗?
我们这样想：
01 你和朋友即使对一部电影产生了喜好/意见的分歧，但是你们能成为朋友不就是基于打篮球的共同爱好吗?你们即使对旅行目的地的选择产生了分歧，但是你们之所以能成为朋友不就是因为大家都痴迷音乐吗?
论点1: It can be really common that friends might have different opinions sometimes. And this kind of difference actually comes from the education we’ve accepted or the family background we have. In fact, it is the similar point of view on something that can bound us together. For example, if both of my friend and I are big fans of Taylor Swift but we have different preference to food type, we can still be friends cuz we can keep talking about her new album or going for her concert together.
02 产生了disagreement就一定有谁对谁错吗?为什么不把吵架当作是一次对事物重新的认知呢?或许可以让你走出自己相对固定的生活?在制定旅行计划的时候，住宿就一定要选择你一贯以来喜欢的五星酒店吗?或许你朋友喜欢的当地名宿也很不错呢?你讨厌的明星就不允许你的朋友夸一夸吗?或许他的偶像做了很多有爱心的事情(譬如慈善工作)你都没有在意过呢……大家的世界观都不是最完整的，所以意见不和的时候，大家好好讨论而不是撕B，不是也很有乐趣嘛!
论点2: It might be a great chance for us to know more from a disagreement. For instance, once I had a quarrel with my best friend because when we were making the plan for our travelling, I just wanted to live in a fancy hotel which I always chose before. But she thought we needed to stay in a local inn since the place we were going is an ancient town and we could have a fantastic experience in this special hotel. Finally I agreed with her even though I was not that happy. But in truth, I found that the inn was very cute and we really had a wonderful time in it.
综上，一个好的吵架可以带来什么呢?
1、对朋友更深入的了解(哇，原来你是这样的人，我之前都没发现呢!)
2、对事物有新的认知(哇，原来还可以这么玩，我之前都不知道呢!)
所以，针对文章开头的第一题，产生了disagreement最好的方法是什么呢?是Long Talk;
第二题，产生了disagreement还能成为好朋友吗?当然可以啊;
第三题，描述一次disagreement，那么请随意想一个关于旅行啊，电影啊，学习啊……的话题吧。
希望大家通过这篇文章学会了此类的话题，也希望大家回去跟朋友/男女朋友吵更健康的架，因为在我眼里，值得吵的架都是为了解决问题，解决不了的问题为什么要浪费时间去吵架呢?
作者介绍
姚雯，上海新东方中区教学主管，ETS认证托福培训师，持剑桥大学TKT教师资格证，持哥伦比亚大学Teachers Professional Development证书，2015财年上海新东方优秀教师，培养多位托福口语满分学员
编辑推荐：
(编辑：秦洁)
